Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
