i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
