I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
