Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize