just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
