good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
