the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
