Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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