Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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