no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
