OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
