2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Buhtt sex?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize