the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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