dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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