your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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