I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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