You smell like stripper and shame
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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