the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
