I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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