I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Randomize
