He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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