not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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