Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
