Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
