who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
