I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
