so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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