she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
