He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
im calling her cock vulture from now on
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
