i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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