ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
