tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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