too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
