Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
