So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
