You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
