i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This is my gift to your gina
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize
