so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
