i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just pee around me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Naked. naked and bneed help.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
