I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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