Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize