theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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