one two three fourrrrnication!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
