I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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