Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
