well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
