i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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