are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
