she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
