You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
