My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
