Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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