her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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