so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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