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  • Id open her wider. Up and up those buns, nice and moist. -John Hughcock

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 12, 09 at 2:36pm
  • What the hell? Toilet broke?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 10:57pm
  • this is my TFLN. i can tell you that she was drunk. and my friend is a weirdo. only in the 7-3-true

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 7:27pm
  • Okay, I rubbed one out, so I'll settle for second-base.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:04pm
  • 5:14, I'd have sex with you if you're a dude or a chick

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:15pm
  • Okay, I tried to bend them back into place, and they're almost right, but not quite.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:10pm
  • Lmfao yo I live in 732 I wanna party with you guys !!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 11:20pm
  • Hahahahaha the first text made me laugh so much, the follow-up and reply, not so much

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 7:00pm
  • Charles Ruthergord believes like a dog she's not house trained yet. you should rub her nose in it, that will stop her!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:57pm
  • Shit, steal third son

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:10pm
  • My sister's 10. You touch her, I snap your dick off.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:45pm
  • Actually, no, 4:40 (2), I cleaned it up myself. I'm single, and not into dicks. So, is anybody going to take that bracelet? I'd trade it for a blumpkin.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:44pm
  • one day when i was little i ran into my sisters room when people were over and my mom was chaseing me cause i was takking a bath, i was naked, and i shit on her rug.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 12, 09 at 9:16pm
  • Great news, my bathroom toilet's carpeted cover is clean, my bedroom's, clean, and nobody will know who bent the tweezers. The only thing that would make this moment better would be a blumpkin.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:38pm
  • Sorry, i want your sister, not the bracelet.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 6:55pm
  • Damn. Just a few more years.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:46pm
  • Apparently, it wasn't all out. I just had a reflex and puked a little on my floor while trying to find rug cleaner for the bathroom. Fuck me. To think, it all started because my sister wanted me to make her one of those bracelets out of the plastic lining of the inside of a coke cap. Of course, now she doesn't want it. So, who wants one of those bracelets made from the inside of a coke cap?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:30pm
  • Damn. I cut myself and when I went to go get a band-aid I stepped on my tweezers. Now, they're bent.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:05pm
  • Steal second, big guy. Steal second.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:10pm
  • Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. They slipped again and I accidentally swallowed it. There wasn't much left, but it burned going down. How long will it be until I test negative again?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:20pm
  • SHIT! I knew I shouldn't have done it because they weren't quite right and all, but while I was smoking the last bit of my joint the tweezers slipped and now there's a lit joint under my desk and I can't find it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:15pm
  • Hell, if you're willing to let me, I'm all warmed up anyway. I'll go all the way. For the bracelet, of course. C'mon, it's a great deal!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:14pm
  • Okay, I just threw up, so I don't think I absorbed whatever I swallowed. Bad thing is some of my puke missed the toilet, so now I gotta clean that up. And it hit that carpeted cover, why the fuck would you put carpet near a toilet, let alone on it?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:25pm
  • We shit on the rugs in farmville but it's because we are all too preoccupied posting texts to go to the bathroom. -farmer from farmville

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 10:14pm
  • Alright, I found it. Hopefully, I won't drop it again.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:17pm
  • Lol'd so hard at 10:16

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 10, 10 at 12:53am
  • Because TFLN is going down the shitter.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:03pm
  • that rug really tied the room together.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 6:00pm
  • Take her to the lap dance street

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:39pm
  • I'd love to hear the whole story on this one....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 9:14am
  • How old is your sis?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:40pm
  • 732 up in herrrrrre 8)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 10:40pm
  • I'd only have sex with you if you're a chick.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:28pm
  • So I called in a husky cleaning man to get the puke out of my rug and we fucked for hours. His meaty man weasel pummeled my loose anus over and over. Hopefully my boyfriend doesn't notice the spooge all over my face.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:40pm
  • Eat her shit She will love u 4 ever

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 12:43am
  • How?! What?! Why?! What?! AUUGGH!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 6:52pm
  • 9:16

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 10, 10 at 12:53am
  • HAHAH! I love central Jersey.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:11pm
  • I'll settle for just a blow-job, because I don't need to shit anymore.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:53pm
  • Tfln has turned into "text random shit to ppl who may post it"...... This fucking sucks

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 3:34am
  • Wow, the text died already?..

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 9:28pm
  • Shows she knows how to undress,

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:14pm
  • If you're a girl, then... Do you want a bracelet? I'll trade you for it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:48pm
  • And, what makes you think I'm a guy?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:47pm
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