For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
