Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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