Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
