I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize