Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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