So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
