Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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