we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
