What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
