chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
