I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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