This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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