so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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