it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
